Acts of Service: Delegation on (and before) Your Wedding Day
If your love language is acts of service, the best thing you can do when it comes to your wedding is become a master delegator. Even if it's not your primary love language, delegating will help to reduce your stress level and allow you to be fully present on your wedding day because you will not be focused on every aspect of the day.
You can delegate everything from small tasks to higher level planning things, as long as you first determine the level of involvement you want to have in wedding planning and wedding prep decisions and what your goals are for your wedding day.
If you want to be a part of every decision, you will end up delegating smaller, more concrete tasks. If your main goal is to make sure all of your guests have the time of their lives on your wedding day, let this be your focus and delegate other necessary tasks.
Casting Your Bridal Party
Determine and evaluate your support system in relation to your wedding day. Think about why you chose certain people to be in your bridal party. Often, there is at least one person who is always on the ball and ready to help plan or prep whatever you need. Sometimes you have people around who can anticipate your needs, but sometimes they need to be told what they can help with. It’s important to figure this out ahead of time so you know how specific you have to be in your delegation of tasks.
Your bridesmaids may not be acts-of-service-oriented, but they can still be valuable to have around on your wedding day, especially if your love language is quality time. You don’t have to exclude flaky friends from your bridal party; the trick is just not to expect them to complete important tasks.
If you don’t want to delegate to your bridal party, consider who else can help you. If you have an involved and reliable family, consider giving them tasks to complete.
Casting Your Support Staff (aka Vermont wedding professionals)
If you would rather hire someone to make sure everything is running smoothly and all of the tasks are being completed, consider the level of support you will need. Should you hire a wedding coordinator or day-of coordinator? Can you rely on the venue’s location coordinator?
As your wedding photographer, I can also function as a day-of coordinator when it comes to helping with smaller tasks and the emotional well-being of my clients. I don’t consider it below me to run and get the flowers or rings or to clean up the getting ready room before the photos. Of course, if there is someone else helping you, I will be able to take more photos.
Do you need someone to be checking in with you? The last thing you want on your wedding day is to feel neglected. Recognize if you need someone to be checking in with you and if that would be part of your wedding coordinator’s role or the role of one of your bridesmaids/family members.
If this is part of what you want your wedding coordinator to do, ask them: "I know you’ll be very busy on the wedding day making sure everything is running smoothly, but how often will you be checking in with me? Will you have an assistant to do that for you?"
Here is the breakdown of the tasks that need accomplishing (note that we did not say the tasks that you need to do!):
Easy to delegate:
- Prep wedding favors
- Plan transportation
- Bridal/bachelorette party
- Determine the love languages of your important guests.
Partially delegatable: You will likely want to provide input on these decisions, but it is okay to let your trustworthy friends and family help you with these tasks:
- Cast your officiant. I always recommend choosing someone who’s officiated before or who is a great public speaker with a strong connection to the couple.
- Determine the guest list/seating chart
- Order and send invitations and save-the-dates
- Hire vendors: photographer, coordinator, florist, musician, videographer, catering. It’s good to have a relationship with your vendors so that you can stand out to them and help ensure that they bring their A-game on your big day.
- Create a timeline for your wedding day
- Prep gifts and cards
- Figure out what your bridal party will wear
For you and/or your fiance(e) to do:
- Dress/suit fitting
- Plan and prepare for the rehearsal dinner
- Write notes
- Create your registry
All you have to do is get married. The rest of these tasks just need to be delegated.
Decide who should be in charge of your personal needs like:
- Attaching the veil and accessorizing
- Touch-up makeup
- Buttoning and bustling the dress
- Making sure the bride is hydrated
- Carrying stuff for the bride (only the luckiest brides have pockets)
- Keeping track of the bridal bouquet
Decide who is responsible for these photography/wedding coordinating concerns:
- The rings: Your photographer wants them for photos when they get there so don’t give them to your best man before that.
- Cleaning the room and gathering the bridal details.
- Delivering a gift and/or note from you to your fiance(e).
- Putting boutonnieres on the groomsmen.
- Corralling the guests and/or if you have a large bridal party making sure everyone is in the right place at the right time (for portrait sessions, etc.)
- Keeping track of the contact info for your bridal party, everyone who will be in your family formals, and your vendors. Make sure there is someone who can get ahold of everyone on the day if there is someone who is not where they need to be.
When you think about your wedding in terms of what needs to get done, it is easy to get overwhelmed by all of the details. Learning what tasks to delegate and who to delegate them to is the first step to enjoying your wedding day to the fullest extent. Bonus: If your love language is acts of service, doing this will make you feel loved and appreciated by the most important people in your life.