Gifts | Considerations on your Wedding Day
The five love languages are all about how people love and feel loved by others. When we get someone a gift, we want them to see it as a genuine expression of our love for them. This is accomplished much more easily when we think about gifting through the lens of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
The first rule of gift-giving: Always include a card.
Words of Affirmation: Use your gift as a vehicle to express the specific things that you love and appreciate about this person.
- Write a letter or poem.
- Mention them in your wedding speech.
- Make a playlist or mix CD.
- Engrave a message on jewelry or the frame of a photo of the two of you.
Quality Time: Remind this person that they are more than worthy of your time and that you cherish the moments you spend together.
- Sign the two of you up for a class.
- Recreate a special time that you had together. This doesn’t have to be an elaborate recreation, your gift could simply be a reminder of that time or something that brings them back there.
- Get movie or concert tickets and go together.
- Get a gift card to a restaurant you both love and go together.
Receiving Gifts: Show this person that you put thought into your gift for them. If they are in your bridal party and you are planning on getting everyone the same thing, make sure the gift is personalized.
Some general gift-giving tips:
- Pay attention: Is there something that this person has been hinting (or explicitly saying) that they would love to get as a gift? Alternatively, is there something they’ve been trying to get you to do with them forever: go out dancing, go running together, take a yoga/painting/cooking class?
- It’s also good to pay attention to things that they don’t want. Is there something that’s very trendy right now that they think is absolutely idiotic? Don’t get that for them! Even if you have one and you love it!
- Pick gifts that are useful. What are their hobbies? Alternatively, what are some things they have to do? Could you assist them or get them a gift to make those things easier?
- Don’t just get them something that you would want. Sometimes these are the things we gravitate to naturally. We think, "I like this, so they will too." That’s not necessarily true.
- Consider their personality, but don’t pigeon-hole them. Not all of your writer friends need another notebook, but they might love to receive a really nice pen or a decal for the laptop that they spend half the day on.
- Look online for inspiration. Etsy has extremely specific gift ideas for even the most obscure interests and most are easily customizable!
Acts of Service: Show that you value this person by taking care of them or taking care of something for them.
- Offer to help with a project that’s important to them.
- Get something they could use, but wouldn’t necessarily spend money on themselves: a cleaning service, a mani-pedi, a babysitter, etc.
- Set aside time after the wedding to volunteer with them for an organization they care about.
- If they are working on a big project at work or are steps away from completing their degree, think about gifts that will help them destress (candy, wine, time away from their computer).
Physical Touch: This person is physically sensitive and will appreciate gifts that appeal to their sense of touch.
- Think soft: blankets, sweaters, robes, and slippers are all great gifts.
- Bath bombs and lotions will make them feel good physically. It will make them feel loved to know that your gift is responsible for that feeling. Aim for high quality bath products; the last thing you’d want to do here is irritate their skin.
- Plan to do a physical activity together. Go hiking or skiing if they are outdoorsy or spend a day at the spa if they are in need of some pampering.
- Handwritten notes are more meaningful to this person than typed notes, so make sure you write a message in their card.
Remember to take moments with people to give gifts. You put a lot of thought into making the gifts meaningful, so let their reaction be a part of the day that we capture.